A guest post from Clare Maddalena, founder of LushTums
Just when you thought you'd cracked it, along comes the four-month sleep regression. The baby who was finally stringing a few hours together is suddenly waking every hour, wide-eyed and ready to party. You're doing the 2am shuffle, the 3am shush, the 4am "please, please go back down", and by breakfast you feel like you've been hit by a bus.
Daisy Hall is the expert on getting your little one's sleep back on track, and I'll leave all of that in her very capable hands. My job today is you. Because while you're working on your baby's sleep, someone needs to be looking after the grown-ups. And one of the most powerful (and most overlooked) tools you've got right now is what's on your plate.
I've been working with new parents here in Brighton for 20 years, and I've watched so many of them try to power through this stage on toast, biscuits and their body weight in coffee. I've done it myself! But I've also seen how a few simple changes to how you eat and drink can take the edge off those bleary-eyed days.
Why you're craving the biscuit tin (it's not a lack of willpower)
If you've found yourself raiding the cupboard at midnight, please don't feel bad. There's real science behind it. When we're short on sleep, the hormones that control our appetite go a bit haywire. Ghrelin, the hormone that tells us we're hungry, goes up. Leptin, the one that tells us we're full, goes down. Add in a stressed, frazzled body looking for quick energy, and suddenly cake seems like a perfectly sensible 10am breakfast.
The trouble is, sugar and refined carbs give you a quick lift and then drop you like a stone. That crash can leave you feeling even more tired, more irritable and more desperate for the next hit. On top of that, your body uses up precious minerals and B vitamins to process sugar, without getting any back.
For mums, there's another layer too. Your body may still be recovering from pregnancy and birth, and if you're breastfeeding, you're also making food for your baby around the clock, night feeds included. That's a lot of output on very little input.
During a sleep regression, food matters more than ever. Not to lose the baby weight or to eat "perfectly", but to give your exhausted body steady fuel to get through the day.
Your sleep regression survival menu
1. Set up a night-feed station
If you're up every hour, you're going to get hungry. Rather than stumbling to the kitchen in the dark (and grabbing whatever's nearest), set up a little basket by the bed or the feeding chair before you go to sleep:
A big bottle of water
A handful of nuts and seeds
A banana or some oatcakes with nut butter
A couple of squares of dark chocolate, because sometimes you just need one
A little protein and healthy fat in the night helps keep your blood sugar steady, so you're not waking up starving and shaky.
2. Start the day with protein, not just caffeine
After a rough night, it's so tempting to run on coffee until lunchtime. Instead, try to eat a proper breakfast within an hour or so of getting up. Eggs any way you like them, Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds, or last night's leftovers (no rules here!). Protein first thing helps steady your energy and cravings for the rest of the day.
3. Eat a proper plate every three to four hours
When you're this tired, you need regular fuel, not a grab-bag of snacks. Aim for three or four proper meals a day, and build each one around:
Protein: chicken, fish, eggs, red meat, beans, lentils or tofu
Lots of colour: at least three different veg or salads, fresh, roasted or frozen
Good fats: avocado, olive oil, nuts, seeds or oily fish
Slow-release carbs: sweet potato, oats, rice or a good slice of sourdough
Don't worry about portion sizes. Your body is working incredibly hard, so give it plenty.
4. Hydrate like it's your job
Dehydration feels a lot like tiredness: foggy head, headaches, low mood. And if you're breastfeeding, your needs go up even more. Keep a bottle of water wherever you feed and sip every time your baby does. A pinch of good-quality sea salt in your water, or a glass of coconut water, is a lovely way to top up your minerals too.
5. Be clever with caffeine
I'm not going to take your coffee away! But timing matters. Caffeine stays in your system for hours, so a mid-afternoon latte can stop you dropping off when your baby finally does. Try to keep it to the morning, and stick to around two cups a day if you're breastfeeding. After lunch, switch to decaf or a soothing herbal tea like chamomile or rooibos. Or simply stick to decaf altogether for a while. Caffeine nudges your body to release cortisol, your stress hormone, so giving it a break can help bring those cortisol levels down when your body is already running on high alert.
Make it easy on yourselves
Nobody has the energy for elaborate cooking right now, and that's fine. A few ideas that really help:
Tag-team it. If there are two of you, one settles the baby while the other cooks. Swap over the next night.
Cook double. Whatever you make, make twice (or even three times) as much and freeze the rest. A stash of chilli, curry, bolognese or soup is gold on the worst days.
Embrace the traybake. Chicken thighs or salmon, chopped veg, a glug of olive oil and some herbs, all on one tray. Twenty-five minutes in the oven and one tray to wash.
Keep a "no-cook" shelf. Tinned fish, eggs, pre-cooked lentils, bags of salad, hummus, avocados, oatcakes and fruit. You can throw together a decent plate in five minutes.
Say yes to help. When friends and family ask what they can do, ask for a home-cooked meal. It's the best gift there is.
Beyond the plate
Food is a big part of the picture, but it isn't the only thing that keeps you going through a tough patch.
Get out in the daylight. Morning light helps reset your body clock, which can feel completely scrambled after a run of broken nights. Even a short walk with the pram or sling makes a difference. If you can, pop your sunglasses off for a few minutes to soak up as much of that morning light as possible (just don't look straight at the sun!). A stroll along the seafront, a wander through the park or a kick through the autumn leaves all count, and fresh air is good for your baby too.
Find your people. Sleep regressions can feel really lonely, especially at 3am. Spending time with other parents who are in exactly the same boat is such a comfort. You'll swap tips, laugh about the chaos and realise you're not the only one finding it hard.
That's a big part of why I love our Mum & Baby Postnatal Yoga classes in Brighton. Babies come too, there's gentle movement to ease out achy shoulders and backs, a proper relaxation at the end (yes, even if you doze off!) and lots of honest chat over how everyone's nights have been. Many of our mums go on to meet up for walks and coffees between classes, and those friendships carry them right through the baby years.
Rest when you can, without guilt. If the washing waits while you lie down for twenty minutes, that's a good decision, not a lazy one. Start an easy-to-watch box set, like the BBC's Ghosts, and give yourself the perfect excuse to pop your feet up for an episode.
When it's more than tiredness
Some exhaustion is just part of having a baby. But if you're feeling wiped out no matter what you eat or how much rest you grab, it's worth a chat with your GP. Low iron, low vitamin D and thyroid changes are all common after birth, and a simple blood test can check. The NHS also recommends a daily vitamin D supplement for breastfeeding mums.
And if you're feeling low, anxious or not quite yourself for more than a couple of weeks, please talk to your GP or health visitor. You don't have to push through on your own.
You've got this (with a snack in hand)
The four-month sleep regression is tough, but it doesn't last forever. While Daisy helps you get your little one's sleep back on track, try a few of these small changes for yourself: a protein breakfast, a water bottle by the bed, a proper plate every few hours and some time outside with other parents.
I've seen again and again how much difference these simple things make. When parents feel better fed and better supported, they have more energy, more patience and a lot more joy in these precious, exhausting early months.
Look after yourselves. You're doing a brilliant job.
About Clare
Clare Maddalena is the founder of LushTums, which she started in Brighton in 2007 after the birth of her first baby. A Senior Yoga Teacher, doula and FEDANT-accredited antenatal educator, she has spent 20 years supporting women and families through pregnancy, birth and the early years with pregnancy yoga, birth preparation and Mum & Baby Postnatal Yoga. She also offers 1:1 wellness support for new mums who are feeling depleted and want to get their energy back, and her Honest Guides cover everything from induction to the fourth trimester. Find out more at lushtums.co.uk or say hello on Instagram at @lushtums.